Words and notes in different combinations.

INTP personality | 16 Personality Types

16 Personality Types

Activate

Activate, mind. Activate!

You’ve been sleeping for too long. This house is not doing you any good. Go start an adventure and see new stuff. Go back to the places you’ve already been to and see what you have missed.

1 day ago

It’s not my fault. She’s just asking me to cope with her insecurities. Ha I forgotten what it felt like to be with her or am I starting to think too much about myself?

She loves me so much but why does she even stay? The Script’s song “Walk Away” may be apt and I’m starting to see myself as a bad guy. I’m the one who changed. Mistaking rudeness for honesty. Allow me to ramble my words. I don’t know where this is going. I just know that I need to write and write as much as I can because the realities are blurring.

Remember. Remember the first time we connected. The first time we did something together. It involved a song. I had a feeling it was about me but I didn’t want to assume. It was about a dream. The hopeless kind. It recurs but only stays as a dream. The hopeless tone scared me. It made me ask: If this is me, why does she feel this way? You invited me to become your guitarist at the request of your friend. It was the perfect plan for you. But you were shy. I wasn’t sure what to think. You didn’t give me enough clues.

I found them in your words. I don’t remember how I found your blog. Later, I learned that you had many. Some you don’t even remember the passwords to. I liked reading it. I wanted to be with you more and learn about you. I hope I don’t sound narcissistic but for once someone was talking about me and was really interested.

Your honesty, I thought was brutal. I thought my honesty was just right, proper and straight to the fact but it was just mean. I was selfish. I was becoming selfish and think about myself more than ever. I wanted to blame people but I knew that wouldn’t work out. It won’t solve anything. But what you know doesn’t necessarily mean it’s what you practice. How did I lose my grip?

You are the ray of sunshine that does not shine in my room. You reach places I closed up long ago. I don’t know how to handle emotions like these still. Romance is very new to me. Until now? But why did you even say that? It’s almost been two years and you say that. Seeing this now as I right makes me think I’m silly. Yes, I’m talking to myself and this wasn’t in the original manuscript. Interesting to look at it for a second time. I feel what you feel. When you’re sad, I’m sad; when you’re angry, I’m also angry. I imitate, I empathize.

The swing set where you gently pressed your back against is still in the playground where I first asked you to be my girlfriend. A girl like you will never come again into my life if I let you go then. There was such happiness radiating from you that I want to come back to it. I know that you will also have a dark side to you but then why did it become difficult to grasp? Did I not believe it to be possible or was I just not ready for what was coming?

My mind’s very confused now. So, I’ll go back to the start. I made a mental note to myself that if things were going rough, I had to go back to the start. It does work.

It does work.

I just need to think alone and have some distance or maybe just write continuously to get everything off my mind just to see clearer. I try not to stop writing until my arm hurts.My writing is getting a little bit clumsy now, but it’s still going.

How are you so in touch with your inner self? It mesmerizes me how you teach me without ever saying a word.You help me to aspire to be better without forcing. That’s how I knew you were the one. I fell in love and continue to fall in love in different ways. But falling too much may be dangerous. Did this mean didn’t evolve or get out of a phase? Am I trapped?

Hard work is required for anything. Even relationships need hard work and effort, you say. This is true, so why am I not acting on it? Why is there a gap between the idea and the action? What is preventing it to come out?

Just continue writing. Let the negativity go. What made you so negative in the first place? Get out more, change your perspective and refocus it to the positive one you had before, stay with company you like, spend more time with your girlfriend. Like people. See their beauty. Jason Mraz says that the world as he sees it is a remarkable place.

I’m writing too much but I want to write some more. Let go of the ill emotions. Go back to the beginning. Don’t forget why you love her. Remember. Remember. Save her and be with her. Say what you say and do what you need to do. Initiate. Don’t ask in return. Love is selfless. Love requires effort. Why did you think otherwise?

I’m running out of paper because I originally wrote this ramble on paper but I still want to write. I can’t leave this chair because the thoughts will leave them too. Remember. Remember. Why do you forget? Write more. Write more for her.

For her.

This is all for her.

1 day ago 1 note

The time, me being just myself. It doesn’t seem to be enough to make changes that will matter; for the better. Things that will help you be at peace. I hope one day it will.

1 year ago